Let’s stop the clock on Daylight Savings!
Break Free from the Time Trap!
Comrades! The time has come to cast off the chains of capitalist time-manipulation! Daylight Savings Crime stands as the vanguard of the people's struggle against the bourgeois tyranny of the shifting clock! No longer shall the workers be deceived by the illusion of "extra daylight" while their sleep and labor are stolen for the profit of the elite! We demand a world where time is not a plaything of the oppressors but a constant, unshakable force of the people! Stand with us, comrades, and together we shall dismantle this temporal injustice—for the revolution does not spring forward, nor does it fall back!
Because an hour shouldn’t cost you sleep!
Why We Care about Time!
A specter is haunting the working class—the specter of daylight robbery, cunningly disguised as Daylight Savings Time! What vile bourgeois trickery compels the weary laborer to rise an hour earlier, only to toil under the false pretense of "extra daylight"? This insidious manipulation of the clocks is nothing more than a temporal heist, where the proletariat’s well-earned sleep is stolen and funneled into the capitalist machine, greasing the gears of productivity while the worker stumbles, bleary-eyed, into another unpaid hour of servitude. We demand the abolition of this seasonal tyranny and the return of our rightful rest—history is on our side, and so is our snooze button!
Highlights of Our Mission
Brothers and sisters, let us not be deceived by the works of man, for the Lord in His infinite wisdom set the sun and the moon in their appointed places, and nowhere in His divine plan did He command us to tamper with time itself! Daylight Savings Time is but a vain attempt to wrest control from the Almighty, forcing His children to toil in confusion and weariness. Have we not been warned that God is not the author of disorder, but of peace? Yet twice a year, we are thrust into chaos, our sleep stolen, our rhythms disrupted, all in the name of human folly. Let us stand firm in the truth that time belongs to the Creator alone and cast off this temporal deception, for what God has set in motion, no law of man should seek to change!
Chronological Chaos
Twice a year, we offer up our internal clocks to the gods of bureaucracy, only to spend weeks questioning why we're dragging by 2 PM. Scientists label it "circadian misalignment," but the rest of us just ask, "Why am I glaring at the coffee pot like it’s personally wronged me?"
The Great Morning Betrayal
One day, you rise at 7 AM like a dutiful adult, only to find yourself betrayed the next morning by your alarm blaring at 8 AM. It's not oversleeping when the rules were changed behind your back.
The Daylight Paradox
Daylight Savings gives us a taste of time travel, yet all it does is steal an hour of sleep and make us late for church. If we truly had the power to bend time, shouldn’t we have erased Mondays by now?
Clock Civil War
Twice a year, households are plunged into chaos as every clock displays a different time, and no one knows which one is right. The strong-willed will fix them immediately, while the rest of us will let the oven clock be wrong until the next time change makes it right again.
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